How to survive 8.9 common test

Posted on by

Hello everyone,

8.9 test is getting close (perhaps next week? just a speculation) and with it, everything we know and love: teamkills, insults in Russian and other such “joys”.

Here’s an average Russian test team:

olen

(comes from a Russian – the pincers and the horns are there because in Russian, both the word “rak” (crayfish) and “olen” (deer) are the expressions for a noob)

Want to evade teamkills? Here’s how. Whenever a Russian noob targets you for your EU/US tag, you can save your skin by writing this:

“Не стреляй дурак, я советский шпион!”

(“Don’t shoot, idiot, I am a Soviet spy!”) – sounds stupid but it actually works, Russian players tend to let Americans/Europeans be after that and start laughing :) You can replace “Soviet” with “Russian” too (“Не стреляй дурак, я русский шпион!”).

Of course, you might want to write something to Russian players too :) In my experience, following sentence produces very funny reactions, when written by someone with EU/US tag:

“Я европейский нагибатор и вы все олени.” (I am an European pwnerer/unicum and you are all noobs, for US account replace “европейский” with “американский”) :)

Have fun and survive out there!

116 thoughts on “How to survive 8.9 common test”

  1. Am I the only one around here who never had trouble with test server teamkills?

    Also, why would I taunt the Russians by calling them noobs?? :P

    • I’ve been TKed a few times but it was never due to my server tag, more down to random idiocy of the person doing it.

      • I had a lot of problems may be we are not playing at the same test server russians try to tema kill you and insult you 100% of times. So yes insult the back and defend yourself against these noobs it works well for me , team kill half team ? so what ?now that noobs will think twice.

    • Don’t recall having had specifically TK problems in the past testservers either… :/

      • Sad there has to be an article like that. Poor fuckin russian retards and their fuckin corrupt homophobic government keeping ‘em that way.

        • Your grasp of the implications of my post amazes me. (Also pretty sure the Russians manage quite a bit of homophobia, like most things, quite without the governement; the latter is likely mainly engaging in some “bread and circuses” for cheap domestic PR – recall that more enlightened countries generally decrimilaised homosexuality *against* the wishes of varyingly large segments of the constituency.)

          • So lets all rejoice russia is only fucked up to a state of beeing some more decades behind!?

            Srlsy WG’s blunt attempts to pamper the butts of some poor ignorant idiots are more than annoying. It may work in a land that is only leading in corruption and death from freezing, but they can keep their shit out of the free world!

            • In fact I was kinda neutral until WG started throwing their shit around. But then reading this stuff and about the russian community combined with what I got told from the few Russian pals I met – I am shocked and disgusted! Really instead of glorification they need help and education!

            • Unlike their fellow East-Central European reactionaries the Russians are under no EU-related obligations to play nice, legislatively speaking, and can instead pander to the prejudices of the majority however much they deem fit. Y’see I kinda went and skimmed through the relevant “LGBT rights in X” articles on the Wiki and the general gist is that whatever the laws might be – and nondiscriminatory ones tend to be fairly recent additions – the actual social norms tend to be a ‘little’ more on the prejudiced side…

              Also did it come as some kind of news to you that Russia, or People’s Sovereignly Democratic Kleptocracy of Putinistan as I like to call it when not in a hurry, is a shithole? The last I heard their budget balance depended entirely on the fluctuations of oil market price, which basically tags their economic structure as “Third World resource exporter”…
              Not really a new thing either; back during the Cold War any number of Finnish businesses made a killing by, in effect, turning imported Soviet raw materials into finished products and selling them back. They ran into some problems when the USSR fell and suddenly product quality control became a whole lot more important – I’ve heard, from reliable enough sources, some quite amazing stories about for example paper mills that used to supply the Soviet market.

        • A country that deters homosexuality is infinitely more civilized that one that doesn’t.

    • Never been TK-ed…only been a TK-er…:trollface:

      And about the insults…can’t understand their letters so I don’t give a fuck about them.

    • in my experience there, i only got t’ked twice and thats because i made 2 mistake, first i charge an enemy with half loaded drum in my T54e1 and the other i was lagging and rammed our own td’s. in fact russian players are very cooperative regardless of the team mate, i always have the support i needed when i played there. hurrm hurrmmm…

  2. I heard from many of my clanmates, if you put on canadian flags on your tanks in test they leave you alone. Or if russians start speaking english insulting americans you can say you are canadian and they just go on their way.

    • they are too stupid to understand that. I think the even don’t know that there is more countries that usa and russia.

        • Lol in russia even the government thinks people can get gay by looking at what they call “gay propaganda”! So stupid, they don’t know genetics, ethics and logic!

          Sure in Murrica there might be similar people but in Murrica you will be able to DISCUSS and not get ARRESTED like in “glorious russia”!

          So please stop telling shit, even the Russians I talked to admited it is a terrible country and one even changed his passport as fast as possible.

    • Wouldn’t work either…once some russian was yelling at me “douchebag,idiot,scumbag etc+american even tho i had EU tag :))

  8. I’m from SEA and I don’t get TKed.

    However this happens a lot to me… players from EU, NA and RU asking: “What’s SEA?” or “Where’s SEA?”

    I’m like WDF, Seriously?! I know it’s not general knowledge to know that meaning, but my expectations were like crumpled to the ground. o_O)

  10. I survived past tests making references to songs and marchs like V’put. They just laugh, answer something and TK something else. Also, don’t act like douches to the lads from potato land, there are idiots from every server that do the TK thing…and I myself once go banned in a test because 2 scouts rammed my arty….things get crazy with so many gold rounds!

  11. I usually start battles with для пони! (for Pony!) as a Russian battlecry. Yup… there are Russian bronies out there.

    • R.I.P. WoT.
      I can’t wait for it! Gun, engine sound, suspension and basicly everything is much more realistic than in wot plus: dat graphic O.o!

        • Nope, I have never said that I’m totally done with wot, I’ll still play several battles with it but that’s all.

          • WT Ground Forces looks freaking EPIC!!! So much better than WoT and without those stupid fps drops or anything. So much better graphics and yet 10x better optimized.

            • Figured you’d be all over this one soon as you came by. Please tell me you’re still wearing pants, even if they’re a bit stained now? Please?

              Also is there hope that you’ll now go play WT and leave us in peace?

            • Butthurt much?
              Why the others can’t say their opinion? It’s freedom of speech.
              Wot is not a perfect game and it’s not impossible to make a better tank game.
              The fact is the ground battle is still in alpha stage but looks awesome + there are a lot of features already in which WG can’t implement for years for example realistic suspension animation, historical battles, garrage battle mod ect.
              In nutsell: time will tell which one is more enjoyable.

            • It is their rapturous fawning and thinly veiled petty bitterness I find irritating, not that I much cared for their opinions either.

          • Guess what? WT cant even compare to Metro Last Light, Crysis 3 or Battlefield 4.

            Honestly, stop with the graphics, its nothing all that important. Besides, they can be improved.

            • Kellomies i really start to think about the number WG is paying you to talk like that about them. I’m not gonna quit WoT even after WT release their tanks. Moreover i doubt i’ll even play their ground forces if they are gonna be much different than WoT by playstyle. I expressed how surprised in a good way with how their tanks looks good and that’s all. Compared to WoT, wether you want or not you must admit, it looks freaking epic. And i really wonder how can you be so biased toward one game and so against other eventough they are both made by russians, and we all know how big of a soviet fanboi you are. ;)

  15. Here’s another option if you like to enjoy stupidity and butthurt in other people: Throw an anti-Stalinist curse at them, then ignore them completely while they explode with rage and idiocy. Just play as if they don’t exist, and don’t react to anything in the chat that comes from them. They’re not worth your attention, anyway.

    Bonus points if you record/screenshot the chat and bombard Silentstalker with it. More potential material for the Hall of Shame. ;P

  18. Why not just leave the _NA, _EU _RU off the end of the usernames in the playerlists. I know they do it in case you have someone with the same name on different servers, but the _NA can still be in the name internally. Just don’t display the country tag on the screen for the players to see.

  19. I played expensively on the 8.8 Test Server and was not once TKed. Even though I would sometimes be insulting. Like asking if anyone spoke english, how they need to learn a language with a real alphabet, tell them to stop “jibber-jabbering in that commie talk”, tell them Stalin sucked and Trotsky was right all along.

    And sometimes I would just type random letters with the occasional *****, because lets be frank, that’s what every single message in Russian looks like to me.

  20. i actually know russian and when i type it on test server, the most common reaction is “Смотрите, Европа по русски заговорила”
    which means: “Oh, Europe started talking russian”

    I quite like it when NA guys (mainly americans of course) start calling russians different things, it’s quite funny.

    Also, trolling and pretending to be a polak is priceless. No offence to polaks :trollface:

  21. I would strongly recommend to all readers to use this post to learn words one shouldn’t use on test server at any circumstances. Russians sometimes do not have sense of humor, so everyone who will type “Не стреляй дурак, я советский шпион!” will be shot on the spot.

    Have I mentioned I’ve told russians about this post?

    • We are so afraid now, you should not post such a scary comments, what if they are gonna hunt us in nightmares? :)

  23. You can also
    say

    ypa!! ypa!! – Russian battle cry – HURAH –
    can be spelled with englsh letters

  26. Weird, I had no trouble with russians at all, in fact, some of them are somewhat friendly to me. I just play the game. I just test these tanks. Over.

    Just do not provoke anger. I did observe teamkilling, but im spared for some reason…

  27. TKs? WAT? The only problems of test server are amount of people that want to join it first day, gold ammo 24/7 and almost no ability to play on tiers < 6

  28. I love RU rages like: “Fack you NATO go home!!!” Cant wait to get some new one :D

  29. I never got TK’d because of EU tag.

    Don’t know about US though, maybe it happens, but I only saw it happen once, and it was only verbal, no teamkilling.

  30. Never had a problem with RU players, except for occasional noob who shot everyone in sight. Dont be a dick, they wont be either.

  31. Its actually Crabs not crawfish… the difference between a deer and a crab is such: crab basically noob that has no hands, that is inexperienced (rus : hands are growing out of his ass). Deer is a noob that is just plain dumb(as in deer that stops in the middle of the road in headlights of a car)

  32. I have this problem all the time on the test server everyone wants to kill me LOL

  34. Been teamkilled few times and EVERYTIME it have been eu or us player…. and i am not the only one :)

  35. бугагашика, мы вас спалили. Теперь мы поменяем пароль и явки!!!
    ваши двигатели будут пылать!!!

    • Орёл, орёл это гнездо, меняем пароли, капиталисты взломали наши систему защиты.

  37. I think that common test server is much better than regular EU server because there are more lamers and never happened to me that enemy team got 10 high skilled players and I was only good player in my team ..
    no mater win or lose

  38. Who cares about the scumbag red TK’ers? Shoot them back. I’m not “hiding” or “camo” myself to play on the test server in fear of the inferior russian players.

    Anyways, the test servers will be a mess this time around, and that’s simply because it features a bunch of new German tanks. Like it or not, everyone will want to play these German tanks. Just like with the E-series, the 2nd med line. Especially this one, the long awaited 2nd TD line. Their servers will get hammered.

  39. “Не стреляй дурак, я советский шпион!” (“Don’t shoot, idiot, I am a Soviet spy!”)

    I want this as a slogan on the side of my tanks.

    • I was an OPFOR officer in the Army in the early 80′s. This would have been perfect for my to use as an OPFOR pin or patch.

  41. I speak Russian, but I’m to lazy to learn Russian keyboard layout, so I could actually type something in chat. :P

  43. I just say “Look, the Cold War’s over; we have a common enemy now, so shoot them, not your comrade from the opposite hemisphere.”

  44. What I do is put American flag emblems on my tank and at the beginning of every battle, I shout AMERICA F**K YEA! It’s hilarious because I’m basically asking for it. I should write that in Russian next time.